dear life 42

dear life,
nearing the end of our one-month vacation, everything is less vivid than the first day, mixing up my thoughts more than ever before. we left on the day that the results of the presidential elections came out and the destiny of our country took an unexpected turn. that result brought me to think not only of what is going on in my country, but of what is going on with me. what i really want is now a matter more vague than ever before. i am not sure of what i want more than everything else for my near future, and i am thinking day and night of what i would do if dared to dream my dreams (are my dreams for real or not?) and what i could do if i dared to change, to accept new situations, and to benefit the possibilities i have. you know life, i am afraid to take the first steps, and your helping me would mean a world to me. i am reaching to you for help (maybe you just need to show me somehow that i should pay more attention to receive the signs you are sending me). waiting for your kindest reply.