dear life 82
dear life,
do you know that you really suck sometimes? have you ever wondered about how a mom can manage the loss of her only son? a son she has just said goodbye for a great day of skiing and having fun with friends? a son she has become closer and closer to over the past year or so since dad moved out? a son she has poured her life and heart into making as happy as possible?
You really suck, you know? As i watched her looking into nothingness, as i watched his picture next to the white flowers and candles burning, i remembered her once saying to me that she wished he would one day find a bride like me, but what did she know? i remembered seeing him flirting with his lovely girlfriend, him making fun with his mom in his calm shy way about no matter what, and of her telling me how he was all she had and lived for. How could she see this doom day?
You really suck sometimes, you know? Today i took my ipod and went out for a walk during which i tried to think of nothing but the walk itself, not you ofcourse. and guess what, there it was, a folder on my playlist entitled "Dara's selection", the first collection i ever put on my ipod. Where is Dara now? What are his mom and dad going to do? How can they manage you? How can his girlfriend manage you? and his friends, all tasting the bitter taste of losing someone dear to a force they can do nothing to but to sit and watch, to bear in silence, to accept and to live on?
We can only calm ourselves by thinking that the calm pure boy we all knew with those lively naughty twinkles in his eyes has gone forward to a better place. We can only calm ourselves by thinking that there is a higher reason for this all, and we can only pray for his mom and dad, his beloved, his causin who were a sister to him, his aunt, grandpa, and all family and friends to be bestowed patience to live through this.
How do you find the heart to sit and watch their desperation, their loneliness, their suffering, and their missing him so bad they want to rip their clothes off? How can you? How?
do you know that you really suck sometimes? have you ever wondered about how a mom can manage the loss of her only son? a son she has just said goodbye for a great day of skiing and having fun with friends? a son she has become closer and closer to over the past year or so since dad moved out? a son she has poured her life and heart into making as happy as possible?
You really suck, you know? As i watched her looking into nothingness, as i watched his picture next to the white flowers and candles burning, i remembered her once saying to me that she wished he would one day find a bride like me, but what did she know? i remembered seeing him flirting with his lovely girlfriend, him making fun with his mom in his calm shy way about no matter what, and of her telling me how he was all she had and lived for. How could she see this doom day?
You really suck sometimes, you know? Today i took my ipod and went out for a walk during which i tried to think of nothing but the walk itself, not you ofcourse. and guess what, there it was, a folder on my playlist entitled "Dara's selection", the first collection i ever put on my ipod. Where is Dara now? What are his mom and dad going to do? How can they manage you? How can his girlfriend manage you? and his friends, all tasting the bitter taste of losing someone dear to a force they can do nothing to but to sit and watch, to bear in silence, to accept and to live on?
We can only calm ourselves by thinking that the calm pure boy we all knew with those lively naughty twinkles in his eyes has gone forward to a better place. We can only calm ourselves by thinking that there is a higher reason for this all, and we can only pray for his mom and dad, his beloved, his causin who were a sister to him, his aunt, grandpa, and all family and friends to be bestowed patience to live through this.
How do you find the heart to sit and watch their desperation, their loneliness, their suffering, and their missing him so bad they want to rip their clothes off? How can you? How?
posted by friend @ 4:19 PM
3 Comments:
At 6:23 PM,
Anonymous said…
میگن وقتی چند بار یه کاری رو انجام بدی دیگه یواش یواش برات عادی میشه و به معنیش فکر نمیکنی. از اون به بعد همینکور تو دیواری اون کار و انجام میدی بدون انکه متوجه باشیو نکنه این زندگی هم اینطوری شده باشه؟ دیگه اصلا نمیدونه با ما چه کار داره و چی داره به سر ما میاد؟ نه فکر نکنم حتمآ یه حکمتی داره این اتفاقها. حتمآ داره
At 12:13 PM,
Anonymous said…
Life is always full of surprises, good, bad and the worst....
Sometimes we think that the bad thing happens to others, and not us...But then one day, BOOM , we are in the circle and we just learn -very gradually-to get to used to real life. The life with all its bad and good things...But sometimes I wonder why the worst happens to some people who really deserve the best...I always wonder...always...
At 10:02 PM,
Unknown said…
being in medical profession and let say being aware and sensitive, I've seen many dramatic stories, 3 children dealing with cancer in one family father hadicaped mother ill, it needs a very strong system of belief to tolerate or cope with that, such times strings of "what for?", "what if?","how come?"etc. attacks you day and night. life is life, you either live it or not, nothing between. much to say but it's a long story.
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